Bedhead Bob: Life and Times

Each of you spends your time with me.  Some of you are actually some sort of relative, some are friends, and someone I've never met.  It is the ones that I've never met that truly amaze me.  I get the first two groups.  The friends and family. They follow out of a sense of duty almost. Staying up to date, on any progress there may be, without having to bother my dear wife Jonell.  It would be difficult for her to take all of the calls, and still manage all of the responsibilities that come with being my caretaker. I mostly report on my progress or setbacks.  I will also sometimes wax poetic about a book or movie. Sometimes of a feeling or thought, or even about a past memory of my life. I am told though, that the majority of people who read this BLOG are interested in following my progress.  So that being the case, let me say that I hate winter, because it is so disruptive to my schedule. Snow makes it nearly impossible, for my nurse and aids to reach ...

 I bargain with God, even though I know that's not how it works. Offering to live a life of service, if He will just restore me, to some state which I consider normal.  When I spoke of Victoria Arlan's journey in my post about her book, this is what I meant, when I said that our lives paralleled each other. Living inside yourself is difficult. Having the tendency to wake up at all hours of the night, and not be able to go back to sleep, leads to some dark moments. I no longer wished for my own death, but at one time I would lie awake in my bed, and ask God to take me.  I have some movement, especially on the left side of my body. Though, It is consistent with someone with incomplete Locked in Syndrome like mine. I'd like to think that mine is some sort of miraculous case, but it's not.   My left hand and fingers, along with my left foot and toes. I have noticed some range of motion increase in those areas, as well as with my head and neck. I have detected some s...

I just finished reading the book "LOCKED IN: THE WILL TO SURVIVE, THE RESOLVE TO LIVE ", by Victoria Allen.  The Paralympics gold medalist, and ESPN sports broadcaster.  I found the book, both riveting and inspiring.  I use the word "INSPIRING " even though I saw her do an interview, where she said she didn't like the word inspiring.  If you are reading this Victoria, (as if ) I'm sorry, but you made me cry! That may be why I finished it in three helpings! Victoria became Locked in at the tender young age of 11.  Her story recounts her arduous journey of her being held prisoner essentially, by a system only beginning to understand this horrible condition. Her story is far more devastating than I pray mine ever will get.  But I will say that there were many parallels to my own tale, in almost a year and a half, Locked in Syndrome has had a grip on me. I would have finished the book sooner I'm sure, but I was hindered, especially in the beginning, as nearl...

I don't remember if I told you that I was a DJ, for about 25 years.  It was undoubtedly, the most enjoyable period of my life. I had to give it up.  When I had my first stroke, the Doctor was looking at my chest x-ray, and he thought I was a two-pack-a-day smoker. I haven't smoked a day in my life.  Of course, I did try it once when I was 11, but I was so afraid my Mom would find out. That I went home in the middle of the day, took a shower, and changed my clothes.  Try explaining that to your Mom. Especially when she would have to make threats, to get me to bathe.  The truth is, I always suspected she knew but decided to cut me some slack. The bottom line, secondhand smoke does, in fact, have a detrimental effect on your health.  Sometimes I reminisce on the music, and the people I met, and the limelight. I played for some pretty famous names in the day: people like Steve Kline, Bob Forcshe, Kelly Chase, Marshal Faulk, Edwin McCain, Michael Jordan, and Gra...

 Today was a very good day for me.  I feeling much better than I felt yesterday. When I contracted some sort of stomach bug, causing me to throw up three times.  When you have a tracheostomy, throwing up can be a pretty scary proposition.  I also got a surprise visit from a few old and dear friends. Two of them were a surprise.  One of them Dan, of the workshopdan.com fame, you know the guy I told you about in a previous BLOG post, who I was expecting to finish our front door.  Along with him were a couple of dear friends, I haven't seen in almost ten years.  Now I know what you're thinking. If they are such great friends, why has it been almost ten years since you've seen them? First, and this goes for Dan too, the reason is that I let life get away from me. It was completely my fault. And B, (I know it's supposed to be second, I just thought that would be funny, ) I believe that true friends can go even longer without seeing each other.  Though ...

Last night, Wednesday night, we had a family movie night.  Oren, our youngest grandchild, happened to be staying with us too, so we let him pick the movie we were going to watch.  Surprisingly, he picked the 1984 classic "Splash". It starred, among many, a young Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah.  It actually held Oren's attention better than I expected. I had seen it before, but to be frank, had forgotten most of the nearly 40-year-old fantasy romance.  I had completely forgotten, that John Candy played Tom Hank's brother.  It was the end of the movie, that made it a real tear-jerker for me, though having Locked in Syndrome, it doesn't take much.  Don't worry, if you have never seen it, I'm not going to spoil the ending for you. We don't usually know how or when our life will end. And all we can do is speculate or passionately debate, as to what is on the other side of death.  What would you do right at this moment, if you were asked to choose whether you wo...

Bob's New Years thoughts I'm writing this on January 2nd.  If everyone has followed tradition, most have made their New Year's resolutions.  If tradition keeps, by now, most have already broken at least one.  I have never been a huge fan of the New Year's revolution, I just don't get it. I mean, why is that the one day of the year, we as a society have deemed it, THE DAY, to make major changes in our lives.  While the thought of stopping smoking, drinking or cussing, may all indeed be admirable. Doing so while under the influence of several adult-like beverages, seems to me to be absurd.  Perhaps, that is why most people fail to be successful at reaching their desired goals or even coming close.  Of course, some do succeed, and lose a whopping 100 pounds or actually start using that gym membership they've had sitting dormant for years.  The resolution may be better served through if we as a society were to adopt a habit of setting realistic goals for o...