Reflection

 I was writing an email to my sister Theresa the other day. I started it out with the greeting of good morning, and my wife, who was nearby, came over and rubbed my arm and responded "Good morning! ". Realizing that I was intending it for my sister, she retorted, "Oh sure, she gets good morning, but all I get is, wipe eyes! "

I realized at once, that she was right. My condition, which in no way excuses me, has caused me to lose some of my humanity. In my effort to speed up my getting my message across, I have deleted many of life's pleasantries. I don't want to become one of those patients that caregivers tell stories about. Who is rude and demanding, hates everyone, and blames everyone for their condition. When it is probably something they have done or failed to do, which has brought them to their present state of affairs. Lacking that, it is no excuse for them devolving into a person that no one can stand to be around. 

I hear stories about patients that are rude and hateful, and I wonder, did they start out like me? Vowing to never be one of those people. Only to slowly lose touch with their sense of morality. Their common decency that nearly every three-year-old has. 

So, I'll hang on to the person I am for as long as I can. I will add please and thank you, even if it takes me a couple of extra seconds. And I'll make sure anyone that deals with me, gets my thanks. 

You don't have to worry about me ever becoming one of those hateful and disagreeable people for very long. My wife has already assured me she will take me out herself. She's kidding, of course... I think!

I felt it appropriate, given the recent events,  to circle back to my grandchildren Jera-Lyn, Jase, and Oren. 

I'm so glad I have been a part of your lives. Be it attending your baseball games or painting my toenails to show support for you. My love for you will always remain unconditional. 

As your Grandpa I have the unique knowledge, shared only by your Grandma directly. Of having see each of you and your fathers, grow up. Let me say that all of you have a good heart and are good kids. Your Mother and Father are bringing you upright, and I like to think I had some small part in that being the case. I'm proud of you all! 

There is a poem I would like to leave you with. Although you are too young to understand it now, hopefully, you will return to this post often in remembrance of me. Let it keep you and guide you, throughout your lives. 

And if by chance you are ever in Bloomington, Indiana. Stop by and reread the following words of Max Erhmann. 

Engraved on the wall outside the front doors of the public library, are the words, that kept me and counseled me, throughout my many years. 

You would do good to remember them, as you traverse some of life's many struggles. 

I discovered them as a young boy. And even today, I can see their wisdom. 

Desiderata 

By Max Ehrmann 

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, 

And remember what peace there may be in silence. 

As far as possible, without surrender, 

Be on good terms with all persons. 

Speak your truth, quietly and clearly: 

And listen to others, 

Even the dull and the ignorant. 

They too have their story. 

Avoid loud and aggressive persons: 

They are vexations to the spirit. 

If you compare yourself with others, 

You may become vain or bitter, 

For always, there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. 

Enjoy your achievements, as well as your plans. 

Keep interested in your own career, however humble. 

It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. 

Exercise caution in your business affairs 

For the world is full of trickery. 

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is. 

Many persons strive for high ideals, 

And everywhere life is full of heroism. 

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. 

Neither be cynical about love. For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, 

It is as perennial as the grass. 

Take kindly the counsel of the years, 

Gracefully surrendering the things of youth. 

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. 

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. 

Beyond a wholesome discipline. 

Be gentle with yourself. 

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and stars, 

And whether or not it is clear to you, 

No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. 

Therefore, be at peace with God, 

Whatever you conceive Him to be. 

And whatever your labors and aspirations,  

In the noisy confusion of life, 

Keep peace in your soul. 

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, 

It's still a beautiful world. 

Be cheerful. 

Strive to be happy.